Foosbal Rules

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The MabuchiLab rules of the game.

Contents

MAN DOWN!

In a shocking turn of events, right winger for the red devils has his career finished when he overextended himself scoring the losing (non-shame) goal. The loss of his foot has permanently ended his career.

"I knew that we needed the shame to break even," he said, suspended footless from his shaft, "I gave that shot everything that I had, and I knew that it was going in. But then I realized that something went into my own goal and I got really worried." The goal stood, but it was his foot that ended up in the goal.

We caught up with the team director, John 'dirty' Stockton after the game "I had him wind up as much as possible and then closed my eyes and let fly. I could feel that something was wrong after the shot, but I also knew that the shame hadn't happened." When asked if he regretted the incident, Stockton said that he would do it again and was only dissapointed that the team lost points.

Article 0: Definitions

In this document,

  • "Contender" shall mean the plastic men (painted or unpainted) with dated haircuts stuck on rotating shafts on the playing field.
  • "Goalie" shall mean the poles on the table with one contender, and the contenders itself,
  • "Defender" shall mean the poles on the table with two contenders, and the contenders themselves,
  • "Midfielder" shall mean the poles on the table with five contenders, and the contenders themselves,
  • "Offender" shall mean the poles on the table with three contenders, and the contenders themselves,
  • "Offensive Half" shall mean the half of the table containing a team's offenders,
  • "Defensive Half" shall mean the half off the table containing a team's goalie,
  • "Server" shall mean the person responsible for putting the ball in play during a serve,
  • "Servers" shall mean the server and any teammates,
  • "Servee" shall mean the person or persons on the team opposing the server,
  • "Canonical Serving Configuration" shall mean the position in which all players except the server have all their hands on their own poles,
  • "Restarter" shall mean the person responsible for putting the ball in play during a restart,
  • "Restarters" shall mean the server and any teammates,
  • "Restartee" shall mean the person or persons on the team opposing the restarter,
  • "Scoree" shall mean the team that has had a goal scored in the goal in their defensive half,
  • "Scorer" shall mean the team opposing the scorer,
  • "Shame" shall mean when the ball completely crosses the plane of a goal and then reenters the playing field without the interference of any player,
  • "Shamer" shall mean the team responsible for the shame, i.e. the team which had the last non-incidental contact with the ball prior to the shame,
  • "Shamee" shall mean the team opposing the shamer,
  • "Shame Kitty" shall mean the accumulation of points during the shame round,
  • "The table" shall mean the region of space defined as the interior of the region bounded by
    • The wooden sides of the table
    • The green "grass" playing field
    • The plane which most closely passes through the centers of all of the player rods,
  • the ball shall "leave" the table when the geometric center of the ball is outside of the table.


Article I: Normal Play

Normal play is normal play. Figure it out. This is when none of the other rules apply. At no point may a player touch the opposing team's poles. The ball may not be touched by any player during normal play.

Article II: The Serve

At any time prior to the ball entering play on a serve, any player may demand the assumption of the canonical starting position. In this case, the ball cannot be put into play until all players assume the configuration and verbally acknowledge that they are prepared to start. A serve cannot be made while a state of mechanical failure exists.

A serve takes place immediately following a goal or at the beginning of the game, or after a mechanical failure. The serve begins when the ball first breaks the outer plane of the service hole on the server's side of the table. The ball enters play when it first breaks the inner plane of the service hole. The servee may take possession of the ball at any time after the ball has entered play but before the serve has ended. In this case, the servee becomes the restarter. The serve ends when the ball has fully crossed the inner plane of the service hole and has left the server's hand.

Article III: Restart

The restarter may demand the assumption of the canonical configuration. In this case, the restart may not occur until all players assume the configuration and verbally acknowledge that they are prepared to start.

A restart occurs after a condition of free-for-all or when a serve is stolen. The restart begins when the ball first breaks the plane outer plane of the service hole on the restarter's side of the table. The ball enters play when it first breaks the inner plane of the service hole. The restartee may take possession of the ball at any time after the ball has entered play but before the restart has ended. In this case, the restartee becomes the restarter. The restart ends when the ball has fully crossed the inner plane of the service hole and has left the restarter's hand.

Article IV: Free-For-All

A state of free-for-all shall occur when any one of the following conditions is met:

  • The ball leaves the table
  • There is a mechanical failure

A team is disqualified from scoring during the free-for-all if any player on that team touches the ball. If a disqualified team scores, the goal shall not count (even if a shame) and the opposing team shall be granted a restart. The disqualification ends when the free-for-all ends. A free-for-all ends when either

  1. A player gains possession of the ball. In this case, his or her team becomes the restarting team
  2. The ball is on the table and none of the conditions for a free-for-all exist.

Article V: Dead Ball

A ball is dead if it is in play, not moving (rotationally or translational), and out of reach of any contender. If the ball is in the region of the playing field between the defenders, then the ball enters into the possession of the team in whose offensive half it rests, unless the ball moves before touched by any player. If the ball comes to rest in any other region of the table, the ball may be moved by hand in a direction away from the teams offensive half, by the team in whose defensive half the ball rests.

Article VI: Goals

A goal is scored when a ball enters a goal and falls to the bottom of the trough. If the goal doesn't fall under any other article, a point is granted to the scorer and a serve to the scoree.

Article VII: Shame

The shame condition occurs when the shame has occurred in the shamee's defensive goal (as opposed to a suicide.) When a shame condition has occurred, a point is put into the shame kitty and play continues without pause. A point is added to the shame kitty every time that the shamer scores a goal during the shame condition (including a shame). If the shamee shames the shamer, the shamee becomes the shamer and the shamer the shamee; no points are added to the kitty. The shame condition ends only when a non-shame goal is scored. At this point, the current shamer (the last person to shame) gets the points in the shame kitty. The other player gets no points. The shamee at the end of the shame condition is awarded a serve. If at any point a shame is scored by the goalie, ten (10) points are added to kitty and a normal shame condition results.

The shame rule creates a pot, the kitty, that can be swapped back and forth between the players. The pot is exchanged between the players every time that a shamee shames the shamer. Points are added to the kitty only every time that the current shamer shames, not on exchanges. The shame round ends when a normal goal is scored. If the most recent shamer scores, a point is added to the kitty and that shamer gets all of the points in the kitty. If the other player scores, the shamer gets the points in the kitty and the scorer nothing.

Article VIII: Suicide

A suicide may occur whenever the ball is in play, including a free-for-all and a shame condition. A suicide is when a shame occurs in the shamer's defensive goal. A shame ends the game and renders it null and void (not points are accrued by either team).

Article IX: Winning the Game

The game is won when the following two conditions are satisfied:

  • One team has a score of 10 or more
  • The score differential is at least 2 points

Article X:The Rating System

Numerical ratings are assigned to players and teams based on the following system.

  • A new player is assigned a score of 100
  • The spread is defined as
    \mbox{Spread}=\sqrt{|\mbox{Score P1}-\mbox{Score P2}|}
  • At the conclusion of the game, the winner is defined as the player who beats the spread. The winner receives the difference between the final score differential and the spread. The loser loses the same number of points.

Note: Due to shames, it is possible to win by more than 10 points.

Article XI: Official Playing Surfaces

A MabuchiLab sanctioned table has the following characteristics:

  • A single contender on the goalie pole
  • Sloped corners
  • An unobstructed service hole
  • Single piece molded contenders
  • Is located in the sub-basement of Bridge

Article XII: Glossary of Common Terms

Here are some terms in common usage in MabuchiLab foos lingo.

  • "Au-ie": A goal scored by an intentionally and insultingly slow-moving shot. Exploits "Oscillation".
  • "Buck": A goal scored, from the forward line, by rapidly reversing a defender's attempt to clear the ball.
  • "Dub": A goal scored, from the midfield line, by rapidly reversing a defender's attempt to clear the ball.
  • "Gain": See "Oscillation".
  • "Greed": Any exchange in which a player is scored upon as a result of mis-timing an aggressive counterattack.
  • "Jackhammer": When a player, usually John Stockton, takes many shots in rapid succession.
  • "Keeve": To serve the ball directly to one's own midfielder then score with the first touch.
  • "King Pong": A player who prides himself or herself far too much on foos skills.
  • "Oscillation": To move into and out of the path of a slow-moving ball, often as a result of too much gain in the motor coordination department.
  • "Out of Phase": To be out of phase is to hit the ball in the wrong direction.
  • "Overtime": Any point in the game when the losing player/team has 9 or more points.
  • "Postmaster": A player with a propensity for missing the goal by hitting its edges.
  • "Postmaster General": Chin-Wen "Jimbo" Chou
  • "Shame"
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